For the few weeks leading up to my departure, I was exercising like crazy. Images of impossibly thin and chain smoking French girls kept running through my head. I made it my goal to keep off the holiday weight as much as possible. All I really wanted was to fit in!

Anyway, in the three weeks or so that I’ve been here, something quite unexpected has been happening. I have been actually slimming down. Never mind that I haven’t exercised once since I got here. Never mind that the three most prevalent foods in my daily diet are carbs, cheese, and chocolate. The jeans that I brought that were tight on me at home are actually loose now.

While we were waiting at JFK for our group flight to take off, I was talking to a friend of mine about the mystery of French people’s diets. We couldn’t figure out how a country that is known specifically for its bread and its cheese could have relatively low (especially compared with the US) obesity ratings. I think I might be on the track of discovering the answer. So I present…

The Parisian diet:

Only eat three meals a day, space them out considerably from each another.

Dinner can and should always be followed by dessert of either a piece of fruit or chocolate yogurt

Dinner should be eaten 8-9:30 pm.

Liquids: San pellegrino and Evan, coffee can only be served in cups the size of your thumb

No exercise required, just walk as much as possible.

Some cardinal rules of Parisian eating:

Eat in small courses

Avoid trans fats at all costs

Use small plates, glasses, cups, etc.

It’s okay to indulge in small treats, like tiny shavings of dark chocolate on your cereal.

And voilà! A Parisian regime or, as I call it, the all carb diet.

In other news:

One of my host sisters has lice. And everyone in the house has to get their hair treated.

Some French people asked me for directions to the metro earlier this week and I was able to direct them completely in French, disguised successfully as a local!

Last week, a bunch of the people in our group went and sat right near this thing:

And drank cheap wine.

And, here is a photo of the street where I live. I just found out that one of France’s former presidents lives on this street:

And a selfie in the foyer: